Stand Right there!

In a city where most adults dash around breaking queues (Swaraj, which includes breaking queues, is my birth right, and I will have it) and ignoring traffic signals unless there’s a cop lurking (smirking) around, ethics is bound to be an issue at any school. 

In school, Multiple Choice Questions anticipate honesty. Not symbols and metaphors of dishonesty. One tap on the forehead, tick A. Two taps, tick B. Scratch chin, tick C. Pick nose, tick D. And all the time, a crystal clear conscience drawling, “Aw c’mon, the end justifies the means. Someone important must have said that. Shakespeare, or someone.”

Perhaps that’s why the International Baccalaureate Organisation has put as much stress on Academic Honesty as on academic excellence. A question of the means justifying the end, I guess.

On the other hand are the ethical dilemmas of everyday life: I can see my friend cheating… But the poor dude’s been unwell, what can he do?... It’s the teacher’s job to spot him… If she’s standing around dreaming, why should I do her job for her? Now, let me get on with my own work...    

Ethical dilemmas aren’t restricted to students either. Teachers run into them at every turn in school corridors: This boy lost his temper and smashed a glass pane. But he’s such a good boy, and is so contrite now. Is there a point in getting him into a whole lot of trouble, and making him bitter? Should I look away, so that I can pretend that it was an accident? To do a little right, should I do a little wrong?  Perhaps I should. Perhaps I shouldn’t.

Whenever I’ve broached the topic of ethical dilemmas in class, students have usually made the ‘right’ noises. Whenever I’ve asked them if it is okay for me to give a student a grace mark to pass, they have been pretty uptight about it. They’ve argued that if I can give a grace mark to make a student pass, wouldn’t I also have to give a grace mark for a student to obtain a better grade, and so isn’t it an unending process? In short, they’ve usually told me not to give a grace mark to anyone. “How is it fair for you to give a mark to someone who’s got 39 per cent, to make him pass, but not to someone who’s got 79 per cent, to make him get an A- grade? If passing is important to someone, getting an A-grade is as important to some else,” they argue. Sound logic. Or is it? More important, does ‘logic’ apply to such cases?

I’ve had students pointing out my calculation errors in their exam papers, where I’ve added up incorrectly to give them more marks than they deserved, by mistake. Sometimes these one or two marks have snatched an A-grade away for them. 

However, I’ve also had students asking for a mark ‘for honesty’, after pointing out the error. So, does honesty come for a price? May be I should have another of my ‘ethical dilemmas’ sessions in class, and ask my students. 

Myths do lie

Anton Chekov once threw up his hands and cried, “God save me from generalisations.” He was talking of characters in novels. The day I started teaching, I did the same. I’m talking about characters in classrooms.

Why do myths exist? To be broken by facts.

Myth: Students are self-absorbed

Fact: The other day, an eighth grader was in tears because he had failed in his French test. Soon after, the French teacher was cornered by two other boys from the same grade. Both of them offered to give up a mark each from their tests, if only the French teacher would add two marks to their friend’s total and let him pass. A heartfelt solution to the problem, not at all honest, and certainly not viable – but check out the emotional quotient of their offer!

As a teacher dealing with teens every day, I can vouch for the fact that teens are less self-absorbed than most adults. They are certainly less selfish.

Myth: Students don’t care about what their parents or teachers think

Fact: That’s only the surface: “My mom has confiscated my phone because exams are coming up, I’m not going to study, anyway.” The truth is, he will study like crazy, not to earn his phone back but to earn appreciation from his mom. So when he says, “Mom has bought me a new phone because I’ve done well in my exams”, he actually is preening about mom’s appreciation, not his new phone.

As for teachers, on show is I-don’t-care cool: “What’s the point of writing this essay? And with spellcheck around, why do we bother with spellings?”

But later, you’re often accosted in the corridors: “Did you read my essay? I’ve put in a great twist in the tale! Read it soon, I think you’ll like it.” Aha! Don’t care, is it?

Myth: Teenagers are inherently lazy

Fact: Most students I know start their day at 6 a.m. They rush for football/cricket/basketball coaching before school. They go through the school day with great hurrah. Recess is chock-a blocked for students meetings – some cultural or sports event is always in the offing. After school, is practice time for all these cultural or sports events. There are assignments to do, tests to rote-learn for, notes to keep up with. All this, even while marching off for at least three tuition classes a day, which come with their own set of homework and tests. The next episode of ‘One Tree Hill’ cannot be missed. Guitar practice and ballet classes are a must.

Phew! When do teens find the time and energy to be lazy? 

Myth: Students always bow to peer pressure

Fact: What peer pressure? I’ve known students who pay attention in class, don’t watch television, denounce two-minute noodles, don’t wax their arms, munch on carrots during break and read Dostoevsky at lunch time – even while others snigger all around them.

Myth: Students don’t read nowadays

Fact: Well. I did catch a teen reading just five years ago...

Jokes apart, I must admit that for every one student I see leaving the library with a book and a delighted glint in the eye, I see nine not going anywhere near the library.

But I am on the job. The day I can disprove this myth, I will be back to this topic.

Survival Kit

One day a student in my 10^th grade class had a problem with her contact lens. As I was trying to organise lens solution for her, another student piped up, “She can clean her lens with spit and put it back on. My doctor told me that’s fine.”

Being a contact lens user myself, I agreed that it was fine to use one’s own saliva, but said, “However, that’s only for crisis situations.” Given to exaggeration, I added, “Like a war zone.”

The student dimpled sweetly before saying, “But a classroom is a war zone.”

Since war has been declared, as a teacher, I feel I should start blogging with a survivor’s guide for teachers!

Over the last six years, I have been collecting some of the tools needed for the trade: a sweet smile, a ‘gotcha’ smile, a sweet frown, a ‘gotcha’ frown, a well-practised ‘grrrrrr’, word games, really short stories, riddles, nuggets of information. And most important, wit. This is for an English teacher. Other subject teachers may want to add to the kit.

I can think of a few things to do to survive in the war zone that is a classroom:

Walking into a classroom is like walking onto a stage to perform for an audience. It needs a similar amount of preparation, guts and passion. Never plan to walk into a class of 40 energetic teenagers and improvise. You will end up as the epicentre of mob frenzy. (How do I know? Well.)

Stand, walk, tower over the teens. Don’t be a sitting target.

Radiate passion about your subject. “Today, we’re going to enjoy my favourite poem!” Not: “Let’s finish the next poem.”

Be the drama queen in the class, before the teens take over. Act, overact, dramatise. Dare them to look away. Dare them to match your over-the-top acting.

Use your eyes more than your voice – especially to flash displeasure. Look daggers, roll your eyes (teens understand that so well), or simply stare straight and hard.

If interest flags, throw an impossible riddle at them. A teen challenged is usually a teen with a mission.

Switch off the lights and tell them a scary short story. (Even 12^th graders can be tamed thus.)

Quote a song by ‘One Direction’. They’ll think you’re a little less fossilised, and pay a little more attention to all the other things you say.

There are many, many more… Hey teachers, feel free to add to the list.